Category Archives: Things that make you vomit

Addicted to Publicity

So news and events on which to comment have basically been spewing all over the place for weeks now. So many things to get me going, piss me off, and really make me want to rant and rave…so many that it’s hard to know where to begin.

But as I pondered, and stewed, fretted, and festered, over all the headlines, bylines, and pantylines of weeks past, all that kept coming to mind was David Duchovny.

“Why?” you ask, would this mildy, or maybe mediumly, hot, former x-files star, be on the forefront of my anger when so many other things are wrong with the world? Well, I think it is because Duchovny really represents most of what is in fact wrong. 

First off, I’ll admit, I am not a fan of actors. In fact I really can’t stand most of them. I’m sure there are nice ones/good ones/plain old “I really just love the art” whoevers, but the ones I know and have seen really just want to be the center of attention at all times, no matter what, and they will do anything to get there, stay there, and keep everyone else out of their way and spotlight. And when I see things like the following, it hurts a little more inside:

When Californication first aired on showcase, I trusted I could enjoy some r-rated T.V. I enjoyed season one. Too many gratuitous tits, but all around pretty entertaining and definitely boundaries pushing (female ejaculation face-shot….yup).

But, is it not just a tiity bittie convenient that David Duchovny declares himself a sex addict, in need of treatment, weeks before season two begins airing????

Give me a break. Seriously. The guy is going to go public with a sex addiction. Right…. This has nothing to do with the fact that his character on Californication is a sex addict. Nothing to do with rebranding the uptight scientist x-files Duchovny with the new, sexier, sluttier, racier version. It practically sets up season two. He may be back with his woman, but he’s addicted to sex, so what will happen in the steamy, sex filled episodes to come…..dun  dun dun…..

Tea Leoni, in the meantime, has to skip out on the Toronto Film Festival out of “embarrassment”. I can just picture that convo: “So honey, the pr team for Californication want me to come out as a sex addict and check into rehab. I know this wont look good for us, but hey, the ratings will skyrocket for the show and guarantee a few more seasons. This could be big time. Come on honey……” 

And of course it all works very nicely. Instead of getting two lines in the T.V. section of the paper before season two begins, whole articles, in the tabloids and the mainstream press, feature Duchovny’s startling confessions. What a load of shit. And really, the media allow themselves to be so manipulated it just sucks.

But sadly, while I found Duchovny sexy and alluring in season one, I can’t even watch season two. Now all I see is another actor, willing to make a fool of himself and his family to make a few more bucks. Is all fair in love for publicity?  

But hey, actors do it, signers do it, athletes do it, and now, even our politicians do it.

Ahhhh John McCain. Another actor, breaking out some tabloid fotter, Palin, in order to create buzz and gain publicity. Who cares about serious issues when we can talk about six packs and moose hunting? Who cares about qualifications when you have great hair? Who wants to talk about foreign policy when they can gossip about teen pregnancy? Why fill the papers with debate, analysis and discussion when you can just post rumours, and comparative fashion shots of power suits.

Just like actors, our politicians have become publicity whores, knowingly dishing out all the shit that we love to eat right up. Making one, if not the, most important U.S. election into a publicity, tabloid circus, one in which the packaging and branding have become more important than the actual product.  

But I guess as long as we eat it up, they’ll keep dishing it out. 

Frankly, I just feel like barfing.

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Filed under Americans, Selling out, Television, Things that make you vomit, U.S. Politics, Uncategorized

Do-it-yourself Paternity testing

A recent article in the Globe and Mail, Who’s your Daddy?, had author David Eddie conducting paternity testing on his son. This article made me vomit in my mouth. If I were this guys wife, I would leave him. 

David Eddie orders the test online because he thinks his young son is too positive and optimistic, unlike his brooding, self-loathing, jealous and suspicious self, and then he waits for his wife to leave for work and then gets his son to give him a saliva sample. WTF???? There is even a picture of this guy and his son looking at the instructions. Wow, what a classy dad. What great parenting. “Come here little guy. Dad thinks mommy may have slept with someone on her frisbee team even though he has no reasons to think so, so give daddy a little saliva and maybe then, daddy will go bye-bye.” 

Eddie even states that he has absolutely no reason to suspect that his wife has ever cheated on him. 

What is wrong with this guy? How does he think this makes his son feel? Or his wife feel when she reads this in a National newspaper? If the test came back as negative, would that mean he would walk out the door forever even though he had been the father to his son for several years? 

Is fatherhood purely sperm-based? 

And what makes paternity testing on the sly any different from hacking into your wife’s computer, reading her diary, riffling through her visa bills??? Nothing. It’s all shitty behavior that should not be held up as cute by the Globe and Mail. Barf!!!!

 

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