Big melon-shaped, pushed-up, rock-solid boobs on the way out!!!


A Globe and Mail article in today’s paper called Shifting tastes leave bra sellers scrambling, claims that consumers are no longer buying high-tech, super-molded, fancy-fabric, built-in-memory, sweat-resistant, come-with-their-own-boobs-built-right-in bras. Instead, they are choosing, simple cotton bras.

The article states two reasons for the shift: the ever popular people have less disposable income argument. Which, while it is very easy to say, I mean everyone is saying it, it doesn’t really apply to Canada right now does it? And the second argument: also trendy a la moment: consumers picking cotton are eco-friendly. Right – Thinking of the environment when picking out the best bra. Don’t think so.

I have another idea and I think you might like it. Big, melon-shaped, rock-hard boobs are out

Ya see, at Victoria Secret and La Senza, practically the only kind of bra you have been able to buy forever, is a replication of what a boob would look like after getting implants. These bras basically coat your own boob in armour. After the bra is done with you, there really isn’t much  left of your original breast at all. It’s been lifted, secured in thick material, slung up and back tightly and even on the most chilly afternoon, in a t-shirt, there will be no way your nipples could peek through.  

Now back when women were getting implants in droves, like two years ago, and all of the women starletts, models and five-minutes of famers, who were taking it all off for the magazines, had big fake breasts, women were flocking to Victoria Secret to emulate the look. Well, I think that we are finally starting to move away from that “look.” The whole fake breast thing has gotten a little old. You can see it in the T & A teen B movies like Surf School. Not a fake breast in sight. (Teen boys probably lust after real boobs because they are like an endangered species when it comes to online porn). You can start to see a shift in magazines and in movies. Much more Oh naturel. Remember the 80s, when John Cusack’s dream girl had little A cups?

Well, I think the backlash has begun and a return to the non-surgically enhanced breast is underway. How can the perfect breast be something that doesn’t even exist in the wild? It’s so ridiculous. Please, make me better by cutting open my skin and sticking chemicals under neath so that boys will look at them and I will feel so much more “confident”. 

So as a nod to this trend, I think women are turning more to cotton bras. If a woman wanted to let her breasts really be themselves, she cannot do so in a super-high-tech-bullet-proof bra. 

It’s alright if your breasts move a little when you walk. Why did we all want stripper looking boobs in the first place? And cotton is so much more comfortable, or any fabric that doesn’t lock the puppies in. And who needs all this technology to make the perfect breasts. Just like we don’t need surgery, we don’t need bras that have to fight in court over patents.

Breasts come in all shapes, sizes and horizontal and vertical positionings. Don’t lock them in a cage, or dress them like the others, let their personality show. 

And bring on the next boob trend: Being happy with what you’ve got. 



Filed under body image, Breast Implants

2 responses to “Big melon-shaped, pushed-up, rock-solid boobs on the way out!!!

  1. L

    The only thing I can think of is that better support = less breast damage over the years. Other than that: nipple poking = good, jiggle = good, variety = good. So I would say, get a bunch of different kinds of bras to suit your tastes for the day. Mix it up, variety is the spice of life.

  2. I hate the feel of fake boobs. Grabbing one is like trying to dribble a basketball. I don’t really care just how big they are, provided they’re somewhat symmetrical and soft……and beautiful.

    ( @ )( @ )

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