So this whole “Settle for Mr. Good Enough” advice being spewed by basically single women pushing forty who want babies and think back, romantically in a hindsight is 20-20 kind of way, on Billy and his University letterman jacket and that despite his penchant for funneling beer he probably would have been a great husband and dad….is really making me feel ill.
Have you ever read an article saying: “Hey, men, stop being choosy, downgrade because you don’t want to be alone.” Come on. I mean some of these articles are telling women not to care if the guy has really bad breath, if he shares your values. Ya, that’s all that matters. Right. And if you never have sex, share a cuddle, or even a close conversation ever again, it wont matter because you both wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, and a four door sedan, colour grey.
Romantic love is not dead. And sure, not everyone is going to meet their dreamboat but really, is giving up and settling for the guy you’re seeing when you think it might be time to “settle down” a smart move? The advice being barfed out by said spinsters is that online is where it’s at to find a partner of equal ideals and values. Here’s a second opinion: GET OFF THE INTERNET. You cannot custom order romance. Your ideal lover does not exist in the boxes that you check. You probably don’t know what you want, need or will be attracted to. I think Internet dating is a big sham. Not to say that some couples do not find eachother online and make it work, but for most: Disaster. And why…..???? Because we don’t know what is best for us when it comes to romance.
So many of my female friends think they know exactly what the “right” guy for them is like. He’s tall, blond, has two degrees, lives downtown, has a car, has traveled extensively, is close to his mother and has a dog – for example. Ummmmm fuck. Talk about being narrow minded. Maybe the perfect guy for this girl is a huge hippie, orphan, artist, who has never left the country. He digs her power career and worldliness, she comes to love his backrubs and marijuana cookies. They live perfectly and happily ever after. Because he wasn’t ordered to go online.
I just have this theory that as we get older we become so picky, so set in our ways. I have spoken to friends who went on dates and ended relationships for the most ridiculous reasons. One friend never called a guy again because he showed up for dinner with her and he had already eaten. Gee, what a loser. Maybe the guy had to eat at an after work ordeal. Maybe he had low blood sugar and couldn’t wait for the date. Maybe he was hungry and didn’t want to be Mr. Grumpy Bear. Who cares. But all the talk of the first minutia moves that a guy makes are so ridiculous. Remember the old adage: opposites attract. I’m a believer. And I don’t think we can chose a guy like we chose a pizza. Sure you think the thin crust is healthier and ham the only meat for you, but have you really ever tried chicken with the barbecue sauce and splurged for the extra cheese? And what about hot peppers? Never thought you like that kind of heat jazzing up your pizza did you?
And trust me, even if a guy shares the same values (mini barf) as you, if he can’t make your toes curl in bed, or heart swell with a great conversation, or make you proud to be at his side when you walk down the street: Good Luck. Mr. Good Enough will make you feel like Mrs. Settled and the two of you will live ever after in Mediocrity. But hey, at least you’ll have children. Little Boring and her younger brother Mundane.