Hooking up

What the hell is all this talk about the new thing the teen’s are doing these days: hooking up.

Did the people spouting all this righteous outrage, genuine shock and knee-jerk concern over hooking up go to high school? Did they go to high school in the day when you wore your guys leather jacket and went steady or something? Did they go to high school when you went on dates chaperoned by Aunt Bittie? Or were they, most likely, not really part of the crowd that went to the fun parties, smuggled in booze and made out in the bushes?

Sure, it may have been the 90s when I was doing it but it was the same shit with a different name. We called it making out instead of hooking up but we didn’t expect Jimmie, Johnny or Rahid to be our one and only because, hey it was a party. It’s not like we were all about having sex with everyone all the time but a little touchy feely (or “heavy petting” as the concerned parents of America would understand it) has gone on among friends at parties probably since Adam and Eve had their first bender. Get over it.

The only difference today is that kids tell their parents this stuff. Or maybe 20/20 does an ‘expose’ and parents go crazy wondering if their kid is getting fingured. She’s in high school. It’s most likely. In fact, it’s most likely that’s just the appetizer.

But really, these teens who go around broadcasting their hookups like they are so much more badass then us nineties chicks. Come on. Neither of us could keep it in our pants but at least we didn’t go wagging our tongues all over town to journalists, parents and really anyone who would listen. You have bracelets, we had bed posts notches. Same diff.   

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