So a little while back I wrote about my disappointment in Canada’s female biathlete’s going the whole “nude calendar” route and one reader compared me to the Taliban. Wow. That’s really hilarious. Just to clarify, I have no problem with nudity. My problem, in this particular scenario, is that the Canadian women’s Biathlon team is using sex to sell when they actually have a really great product worthy of a much better ad campaign than come see my ass cleavage. 

Why did these athletes have to go down this road? Why couldn’t they have come up with something a little more clever. Like no one has done a fucking nude calender before. And why naked? Why naked women? Like we don’t see enough of them every where we look. I just think that these athletes should want a little more respect for themselves beyond, “ya, the blond one is hot and the brunette has a nice ass. I’d do the whole team though.” 

This does not make me “like the Taliban” for fuck’s sake. It makes me a woman who thinks that a successful woman should be respected for her abilities and not just her appearance naked. The athletes are cheapening themselves. How many nude calenders (besides mustached fireman) do you ever see of men? Why is it that men don’t feel that they have to sell themselves this way? 

The whole Girls Gone WIld generation of women seem to think that it’s fine to flash your tits. Not “I don’t want to wear a bathing suit top at the beach” flash them, but the “hey those guys want to see them” flash them. I think that’s sad.

But hey, if that’s what you want, go for it. I have nothing against women who sell their bodies as prostitutes, strippers, escorts or nude models in playboy or on the internet working as a face on which to be come upon. It’s those women’s choice. But in my opinion, being an olympic athlete and working in the sex industry are pretty different. ANd you may insult me all you want but I would hope that our elite athletes should not feel that should have to, or want to, sell their naked bodies, to subsidize their training.

Barf….. Again.

Now, trust me, I believe that a woman should be able to breast feed her baby. If she wants to leave the house at all with a new born who feeds like every waking minute, this is important. But the fact that a woman is complaining to the Human Rights Commission for being kicked out of a public swimming pool for breast feeding is just wrong.

This is not a human rights issue, it is an issue of respect. I don’t want to see someone eating a sandwich in a pool, spitting in a pool, blowing snot into a pool. You can’t feed a toddler a box of milk in a pool. The rules are clear, no eating or drinking aloud. Why should breast feeding be any different? I just can’t understand why this woman couldn’t get out of the pool and breast feed on a chair nearby. 

Advocates argue that breast feeding in a pool does not cause any health issues, sure – but it’s just rude. 

Unfortunately, this story takes away from many women’s legitimate concerns about being discriminated against for breast feeding in a coffee shop or in a mall. And while our culture definitely has a problem with seeing breasts in public, that aren’t perfect, perky and wrapped in sexy lingerie, I really think there is such a thing as going too far. 

This article elicited almost 150 responses from the public echoing this view. Just have some common sense and respect for others. I don’t want baby spit up floating by me, even if it won’t make me sick.  

On the other hand, if women want to argue that they shouldn’t be harassed or discriminated against for breast feeding in public, then were talking about something important. But when this woman takes her grievance public, one that most Canadians would disagree with, it takes away from the real problem.

I spent several months living in Nepal and this is a very conservative culture. Revealing knees or shoulders in public is a no-go. But interestingly enough, breasts are no big deal. Breasts actually share the same Nepali word with milk: duhd. (Dude: ha ha). In Nepal, most women of child bearing age wear shirts(cholahs) that actually un-latch to make it easier to reveal a breast for the purpose of feeding.

Now it would be nice if are culture could accept that breasts actually exist to feed babies, not to be used as male fun pillows.

Since when do third rate rumours and second hand quotes from anonymous sources make up an entire newspaper article? I can’t believe that within hours of the election, “news” of Sarah Palin being so “awful”, “throwing tantrums”, “acting like a diva”, “a shopoholic”, and “a nemesis of John McCain in the end”, come spewing out all over the place. Not one person was actually quoted, not one piece of actual evidence provided, just 7th grade personal attacks from the republican “camp”.

Now, hey, I have never been a fan of this ill-equipped, unexperienced, anti-feminist person being put in the position that she was, but the fact that sources from the republican camp are apparently now slamming her, and the fact that all the news orgs are more than happy to run with this “story”, really MAKES ME FURIOUS.

They hailed her as so great, the every-woman who could reach the average American and defended her to the end, until the end did not give them the result they wanted.

And now, Palin will take the fall and receive the wrath of the republicans. And of course, they are drawing on the same sexist bullshit – focussing on her spending binges like she was just some out of control woman with too many credit cards. 

And I can’t believe that anyone besides a tabloid rag would print these third person, anonymous accounts. It’s not journalism, it’s a circus and a circus very eager to jump on the anti-woman bandwagon.

If one thing comes out of this, maybe Sarah Palin will finally realize that sexism is alive and well and just as she was objectified and used to begin with, now that her shiny hair and long legs did not produce, she will be hung out to dry.

After trying to create the perfect puppet republican femme fatale and failing, the republicans want their clothes back. That’s feminism for you: republican style!

I think it is truly hilarious that all these religious types are so opposed to Same-Sex Marriage. “Marriage is sacred” they say. How can they even keep a straight face?

They want to deny marriage to a couple of the same sex because they think that it injurs the mighty institution of marriage. I ask them: what about reality tv marriages? What about hollywood 16 minute marriages? What about 7th time marriages? What about marriages for money? Marriages for sex with a woman 40 years younger? So-called starter marriages?

I’m sorry but the whole “marriage as sacred” thing went out the window years ago. Probably around the time 50% of them ended in divorce. But hey, for 50% of us, marriage works. It keeps us happy and healthy a lot of the time. So why deny this to people who share those aspirations. We let random-looking-for-fame dude and I’m-a-”model”-trying-to-break-into-acting girl do it on live television but Judy and Jenny who have been partners for 20 years and would like similar tax breaks as Jack and Laura from next door, not to mention maybe a big fun party with their loved ones, are the ones setting the culture of marriage back. Right!!!

You don’t see the angries standing up to oppose mail-order brides. Wow a green card and sex with a young hot woman who will cook for you till she gets her status should be grounds for marriage, that doesn’t make a mockary out of the “blessed” union between a man and a woman at all. But two people who love and are committed to each other who happen to be of the same gender is really what threatens the collapse of marriage. What a joke.

Let people find their slice of happiness on this planet and don’t judge them so harshly, especially when they are looking for the exact same things as you haters. A sworn commitment to work as a team. Who cares if they originated from the same one.

I am so sick and tired of this whole nude female athlete bullshit. Yet again, female atheletes have gone for the nude calendar as a means to raise awareness and money for their training. Screw off girls. As a former downhill ski racer in Canada, as a woman, athelete and feminist, I can say, you are not coming across as the bad ass Olympic hopefulls that you are. You are not raising awareness for your athleticism and achievements, you are cheapening yourselves. Your selling your bodies. Gross…..

And where is the commentary about this? Why do the newspapers make this sound like a juicy little treat? No real commentary, just details on where to pick up the latest piece of sporn. Why do young women think it is totally cool to go naked? Why do they have no problem with objectifying themselves? 

Please, give me a calendar with some bad ass women firing perfect tens out of their actual guns after having busted ass across grueling cross country terrain instead of strategically placed Canadian flags that cover genitals. And hey, maybe they won’t sell as many calendars that way, but isn’t self respect worth anything these days? 

This is so stupid. It cheapens women it cheapens the fact that they are world class athletes with amazing skill and makes them just objects, bodies to be gazed upon. 

In our women’s body obsessed society, our female achievers should be fighting against this, not pandering to it. 

Grow up girls. Take yourselves seriously as athletes and not nude models and maybe others will as well. 

I was super pumped to see the biathlon. But now I’ll pass.

I just don’t get it. Is it because the idea of taking away someone’s precious penis is just too much to bare for men? Is the idea of injecting, basically female birthcontrol, into a man, so horryfing to other men because it may hurt the sex drive, interfere with manliness, or a desire to live, that we cease to take steps to actually do something effective to get rid of child molesters? 

I think it is pretty clear. If you try and fuck children, you have a problem. If you look at pictures of infants and get a hard on, you have a problem, if you abduct and rape them, you have a big fucking problem. But apparently, you can molest them, over 70 times and go to prison for a few years and be back at it. But please, stick to the conditions of your release and stay away from schools because we banned you from doing that. Right.

Have we not learned anything? Sexual gratification is a pretty big motivator and when your brain and penis are hardwired in a fucked up way that makes you perceive a toddler as sexy, even once, maybe you should lose your right to have any sex drive at all. 

Now personally, I would say, remove the whole penis. Cut the whole thing right off. 

But really, a more “humane” answer already exists. Injections. Like every four months and then….bye bye sex drive, protect the children. 

How can we let someone like Danial Todd Gratton troll our playgrounds? Often, the police don’t want these fuckers back out there. But hey, the guy played nice in prison, not too many seven-year-olds in there to tempt him, and then he voluntarily goes to counselling and so he is not considered high risk. Did we forget he molested several children including one more than 70 times? What about those children’s lives? What about the little ten-year-old who he threatened with death this week? How is she going to adjust? And we don’t know what he did to her but I’m sure it wasn’t pretty. 

But hey, at counselling they told Gratton, let’s work to fight against those urges. Sure, then he goes home and online and looks at all the little children out there being abused and gets hot and horny. And these guys are everywhere. They wont tell you where but trust me, in your neighbourhood, maybe in your building, maybe at your work, maybe coaching your kid’s softball team. But as long as we decide to pretend that these guys can get “better”, nothing will change. 

And maybe if we started castrating all the guys we catch, a few others would actually be deterred. It’s one thing to be shamed and go to prison. It’s another to live your life signing it soprano.

Everyday you read a story about another ten men brought down for abusing children, distributing child porn, looking at these vile pictures of poor children being mutilated and tortured and getting off on it. Actually having orgasms when they see a child crying because their little vagina is being ripped open. Let’s get fucking real. These people are a plague on our society. Targeting our children for fucks sake.  Do they really deserve to be allowed to carry around their weapons? Fuck no. 

Let’s not get tough on crime by keeping these guys in prison for a year longer. Let’s really do something about this. And not a voluntary program. What the hell is that.

For child abusers, bring on the mini-guillotine. Off with their heads!!!!

[And now the worst thing is, I get to see the search terms that show up when trolls accidently come to my blog looking for kiddie porn: sadly, their searches will far outnumber those from people looking for news and commentary.]

So news and events on which to comment have basically been spewing all over the place for weeks now. So many things to get me going, piss me off, and really make me want to rant and rave…so many that it’s hard to know where to begin.

But as I pondered, and stewed, fretted, and festered, over all the headlines, bylines, and pantylines of weeks past, all that kept coming to mind was David Duchovny.

“Why?” you ask, would this mildy, or maybe mediumly, hot, former x-files star, be on the forefront of my anger when so many other things are wrong with the world? Well, I think it is because Duchovny really represents most of what is in fact wrong. 

First off, I’ll admit, I am not a fan of actors. In fact I really can’t stand most of them. I’m sure there are nice ones/good ones/plain old “I really just love the art” whoevers, but the ones I know and have seen really just want to be the center of attention at all times, no matter what, and they will do anything to get there, stay there, and keep everyone else out of their way and spotlight. And when I see things like the following, it hurts a little more inside:

When Californication first aired on showcase, I trusted I could enjoy some r-rated T.V. I enjoyed season one. Too many gratuitous tits, but all around pretty entertaining and definitely boundaries pushing (female ejaculation face-shot….yup).

But, is it not just a tiity bittie convenient that David Duchovny declares himself a sex addict, in need of treatment, weeks before season two begins airing????

Give me a break. Seriously. The guy is going to go public with a sex addiction. Right…. This has nothing to do with the fact that his character on Californication is a sex addict. Nothing to do with rebranding the uptight scientist x-files Duchovny with the new, sexier, sluttier, racier version. It practically sets up season two. He may be back with his woman, but he’s addicted to sex, so what will happen in the steamy, sex filled episodes to come…..dun  dun dun…..

Tea Leoni, in the meantime, has to skip out on the Toronto Film Festival out of “embarrassment”. I can just picture that convo: “So honey, the pr team for Californication want me to come out as a sex addict and check into rehab. I know this wont look good for us, but hey, the ratings will skyrocket for the show and guarantee a few more seasons. This could be big time. Come on honey……” 

And of course it all works very nicely. Instead of getting two lines in the T.V. section of the paper before season two begins, whole articles, in the tabloids and the mainstream press, feature Duchovny’s startling confessions. What a load of shit. And really, the media allow themselves to be so manipulated it just sucks.

But sadly, while I found Duchovny sexy and alluring in season one, I can’t even watch season two. Now all I see is another actor, willing to make a fool of himself and his family to make a few more bucks. Is all fair in love for publicity?  

But hey, actors do it, signers do it, athletes do it, and now, even our politicians do it.

Ahhhh John McCain. Another actor, breaking out some tabloid fotter, Palin, in order to create buzz and gain publicity. Who cares about serious issues when we can talk about six packs and moose hunting? Who cares about qualifications when you have great hair? Who wants to talk about foreign policy when they can gossip about teen pregnancy? Why fill the papers with debate, analysis and discussion when you can just post rumours, and comparative fashion shots of power suits.

Just like actors, our politicians have become publicity whores, knowingly dishing out all the shit that we love to eat right up. Making one, if not the, most important U.S. election into a publicity, tabloid circus, one in which the packaging and branding have become more important than the actual product.  

But I guess as long as we eat it up, they’ll keep dishing it out. 

Frankly, I just feel like barfing.

Marie Claire has an article this month entitled “How to Pimp your pad“. It’s apparently a single girl’s guide to decorating her new place. 

Let’s have a little language lesson. 

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

PIMP: a man who solicits clients for a prostitute

Or…TO PIMP: to make use of often dishonorably for one’s own gain or benefit

Now, how does this apply to redecorating, to sprucing, primping, applying paint, buying new furniture, hanging a painting????

Remodeling is not quite the same as sexual exploitation now is it. And I get the whole “let’s take back the language” thing. I think it is of great value to take a term that was originally created to demean or offend and make it part of everyday speech. Language looses a lot of power when it is in the right hands. My gay friend calls her girlfriend a dyke all the time. And I laugh at my friend as I call her a slut for being flirty. The list goes on. But re-associating pimp as a decorative term is just fucked. We are making the word pimp into something cool, trendy and beneficial. 

It pissed me off when a bunch of gangster wannabes started “Pimp my ride” but for a women’s magazine that considers itself quite feminist to use that term, Wow. 

Pimps aren’t cool. Pimp and Ho parties aren’t cool. ‘It’s hard out here for a pimp’ winning an Academy Award: not cool. So let’s maybe think twice before we throw trendy language out there without even thinking about what it signifies. K.

“I feel like my place is a little run down and not too stylish, thank goodness for Marie Claire, I can now go find a vulnerable women, who is most likely poor and drug addicted and I can take advantage of her, convince her that I’ll help her out, send guys who want to fuck her her way and then take half the profit. Oh, you meant the new definition of pimp. Sprinkle with colour and make a place homey. Shame on me for thinking that the term from the 1600s applied here.”

This really pisses me off.

Here we have the best female athletes in the world, competing in highly demanding sports, and still, the cameras and the press must objectify the female athletes and reduce them to body parts. First of all, screw you cameraguy for the Associated Press who thinks it’s perfectly alright to take extreme closeup ass shots, and secondly screw you Globe and Mail for including this sexist piece of shit in your daily photo montage re-cap of the day in Beijing. 

This volleyball player for Brasil has a face. She probably has a pretty bad ass spike and a super fabulous serve, but instead thanks to the bullshit that is the “rule” that women volleyball payers must wear bikinis, and the assholes who think it’s fine to make world class athletes into sexy models upon which to gaze and lust after, she is just a tight little ass. 

Show some respect to these women athletes. Sex is everywhere…..everywhere. Women’s bodies and body parts are everywhere. Why can’t we look to these athletes at the olympics as models of strength, perseverance, stamina and determination and not just, with one quick snap of the zoom lens, sportporn.

Have a gander at the latest issue of Newsweek and you’ll come across an article exploring research from several sources revealing that most Americans describe themselves as happier when they are childless. Americans with children, feel that their children make them more unhappy. 

Contrary to popular belief, parents are not declaring their undying happiness derived from their bundles of joy. They feel a greater sense of purpose, but not happiness. How tragic. This is really sad. But I truly beleive it is a product of the modern North American model or living and parenting.

Basically, tell me how a family of four, in our culture is supposed to live. Mom and dad get up, get the kids ready, shuffle them to school, go to their jobs, work all day, run errands at lunch, pick the kids up, get dinner, cook dinner, clean, help kids with homework, take kids to play dates, sport practice, bla bla bla, watch TV and pass out in bed. This is a horrendous way to live everyday.

Now not all families live this way, and some days, of course, are going to unfold like this but I really think that life is very different in Europe for families and for three main reasons:

1) VACATION: Europeans have 5-6 weeks vacation. In addition to this, many have flexi time, they have time off for doctors appointments, they have schedules that allow them to wait at home for the repairperson to fix the fridge. How do families live in America with only two weeks vacation? Ten days to spend outside of work a year? This is insane. Families don’t have anytime to devote to each other. And then, when you go home, all you have to face are chores and responsibilities and never a good time. Most of the Euro families I know take off for a full month every year. They go to the beach, they go camping, they go see relatives. The whole family, together. Now trust me, this quality time keeps families closer, teens out of trouble, couples having sex. And I can’t understand why North Americans only receive two weeks vacation. Show me people working on a Friday afternoon. Just show them to me. Instead, many Europeans actually work all week long so that they can get everything done for their vacations. 

2) SUBURBIA, no offense to the many of you who live in American suburbia, but when life revolves around driving to big boxes, you can’t possibly feel very happy. Now big boxes exist in Europe, but the majority of people live in centres so that they can walk, bike or take a train everywhere they go. Walk to the local butcher, grab a bouquet of flowers from the street vendor, pick up a fresh pie and a baguette at the baker. This is so much more desirable to fighting the masses at Costco so that you can fill the freezer with pre-made dinners no? If I had to spend two-three of my free hours everyday in traffic or line-ups that smell like ketchup, I would be pretty miserable as well. It’s pretty fantastic when you can really live off everything in your own community. 

3) CRAZY PARENTING: child-centred parenting is just that. And when you make your whole life revolve solely around your child, something is going to give and your own happiness is likely. Parents forget they need to enjoy their lives and wether it is doing family activities that everyone can enjoy or having nights off for dates and for fun and relaxation: it’s necessary.

How insane is it that most parents describe their children as a source of unhappiness? One survey found that parents were happier grocery shopping or sleeping than they were spending time with their kids. Ouch. 

Doesn’t this raise some red flags that things need to change. No one wants a life that revolves around chores or 100% sacrifice to keep up with play dates. So why are parents making themselves so unhappy? It’s time to look at how they are living their lives and what are some of the underlying problems. Because while I am sure parenting is not always easy and can take a lot of time and stress, shouldn’t it be enjoyable to have children? Seriously.