Canada’s Biathletes STILL an embarrassment

So a little while back I wrote about my disappointment in Canada’s female biathlete’s going the whole “nude calendar” route and one reader compared me to the Taliban. Wow. That’s really hilarious. Just to clarify, I have no problem with nudity. My problem, in this particular scenario, is that the Canadian women’s Biathlon team is using sex to sell when they actually have a really great product worthy of a much better ad campaign than come see my ass cleavage. 

Why did these athletes have to go down this road? Why couldn’t they have come up with something a little more clever. Like no one has done a fucking nude calender before. And why naked? Why naked women? Like we don’t see enough of them every where we look. I just think that these athletes should want a little more respect for themselves beyond, “ya, the blond one is hot and the brunette has a nice ass. I’d do the whole team though.” 

This does not make me “like the Taliban” for fuck’s sake. It makes me a woman who thinks that a successful woman should be respected for her abilities and not just her appearance naked. The athletes are cheapening themselves. How many nude calenders (besides mustached fireman) do you ever see of men? Why is it that men don’t feel that they have to sell themselves this way? 

The whole Girls Gone WIld generation of women seem to think that it’s fine to flash your tits. Not “I don’t want to wear a bathing suit top at the beach” flash them, but the “hey those guys want to see them” flash them. I think that’s sad.

But hey, if that’s what you want, go for it. I have nothing against women who sell their bodies as prostitutes, strippers, escorts or nude models in playboy or on the internet working as a face on which to be come upon. It’s those women’s choice. But in my opinion, being an olympic athlete and working in the sex industry are pretty different. ANd you may insult me all you want but I would hope that our elite athletes should not feel that should have to, or want to, sell their naked bodies, to subsidize their training.

Barf….. Again.

Breast feeding in the pool: yuck yuck yuck

Now, trust me, I believe that a woman should be able to breast feed her baby. If she wants to leave the house at all with a new born who feeds like every waking minute, this is important. But the fact that a woman is complaining to the Human Rights Commission for being kicked out of a public swimming pool for breast feeding is just wrong.

This is not a human rights issue, it is an issue of respect. I don’t want to see someone eating a sandwich in a pool, spitting in a pool, blowing snot into a pool. You can’t feed a toddler a box of milk in a pool. The rules are clear, no eating or drinking aloud. Why should breast feeding be any different? I just can’t understand why this woman couldn’t get out of the pool and breast feed on a chair nearby. 

Advocates argue that breast feeding in a pool does not cause any health issues, sure – but it’s just rude. 

Unfortunately, this story takes away from many women’s legitimate concerns about being discriminated against for breast feeding in a coffee shop or in a mall. And while our culture definitely has a problem with seeing breasts in public, that aren’t perfect, perky and wrapped in sexy lingerie, I really think there is such a thing as going too far. 

This article elicited almost 150 responses from the public echoing this view. Just have some common sense and respect for others. I don’t want baby spit up floating by me, even if it won’t make me sick.  

On the other hand, if women want to argue that they shouldn’t be harassed or discriminated against for breast feeding in public, then were talking about something important. But when this woman takes her grievance public, one that most Canadians would disagree with, it takes away from the real problem.

I spent several months living in Nepal and this is a very conservative culture. Revealing knees or shoulders in public is a no-go. But interestingly enough, breasts are no big deal. Breasts actually share the same Nepali word with milk: duhd. (Dude: ha ha). In Nepal, most women of child bearing age wear shirts(cholahs) that actually un-latch to make it easier to reveal a breast for the purpose of feeding.

Now it would be nice if are culture could accept that breasts actually exist to feed babies, not to be used as male fun pillows.

Now Palin is to Blame….

Since when do third rate rumours and second hand quotes from anonymous sources make up an entire newspaper article? I can’t believe that within hours of the election, “news” of Sarah Palin being so “awful”, “throwing tantrums”, “acting like a diva”, “a shopoholic”, and “a nemesis of John McCain in the end”, come spewing out all over the place. Not one person was actually quoted, not one piece of actual evidence provided, just 7th grade personal attacks from the republican “camp”.

Now, hey, I have never been a fan of this ill-equipped, unexperienced, anti-feminist person being put in the position that she was, but the fact that sources from the republican camp are apparently now slamming her, and the fact that all the news orgs are more than happy to run with this “story”, really MAKES ME FURIOUS.

They hailed her as so great, the every-woman who could reach the average American and defended her to the end, until the end did not give them the result they wanted.

And now, Palin will take the fall and receive the wrath of the republicans. And of course, they are drawing on the same sexist bullshit – focussing on her spending binges like she was just some out of control woman with too many credit cards. 

And I can’t believe that anyone besides a tabloid rag would print these third person, anonymous accounts. It’s not journalism, it’s a circus and a circus very eager to jump on the anti-woman bandwagon.

If one thing comes out of this, maybe Sarah Palin will finally realize that sexism is alive and well and just as she was objectified and used to begin with, now that her shiny hair and long legs did not produce, she will be hung out to dry.

After trying to create the perfect puppet republican femme fatale and failing, the republicans want their clothes back. That’s feminism for you: republican style!

Proposition 8 and the sacred-marriage myth

  

I think it is truly hilarious that all these religious types are so opposed to Same-Sex Marriage. “Marriage is sacred” they say. How can they even keep a straight face?

They want to deny marriage to a couple of the same sex because they think that it injurs the mighty institution of marriage. I ask them: what about reality tv marriages? What about hollywood 16 minute marriages? What about 7th time marriages? What about marriages for money? Marriages for sex with a woman 40 years younger? So-called starter marriages?

I’m sorry but the whole “marriage as sacred” thing went out the window years ago. Probably around the time 50% of them ended in divorce. But hey, for 50% of us, marriage works. It keeps us happy and healthy a lot of the time. So why deny this to people who share those aspirations. We let random-looking-for-fame dude and I’m-a-”model”-trying-to-break-into-acting girl do it on live television but Judy and Jenny who have been partners for 20 years and would like similar tax breaks as Jack and Laura from next door, not to mention maybe a big fun party with their loved ones, are the ones setting the culture of marriage back. Right!!!

You don’t see the angries standing up to oppose mail-order brides. Wow a green card and sex with a young hot woman who will cook for you till she gets her status should be grounds for marriage, that doesn’t make a mockary out of the “blessed” union between a man and a woman at all. But two people who love and are committed to each other who happen to be of the same gender is really what threatens the collapse of marriage. What a joke.

Let people find their slice of happiness on this planet and don’t judge them so harshly, especially when they are looking for the exact same things as you haters. A sworn commitment to work as a team. Who cares if they originated from the same one.

Canada’s female biathletes an embarrassment

I am so sick and tired of this whole nude female athlete bullshit. Yet again, female atheletes have gone for the nude calendar as a means to raise awareness and money for their training. Screw off girls. As a former downhill ski racer in Canada, as a woman, athelete and feminist, I can say, you are not coming across as the bad ass Olympic hopefulls that you are. You are not raising awareness for your athleticism and achievements, you are cheapening yourselves. Your selling your bodies. Gross…..

And where is the commentary about this? Why do the newspapers make this sound like a juicy little treat? No real commentary, just details on where to pick up the latest piece of sporn. Why do young women think it is totally cool to go naked? Why do they have no problem with objectifying themselves? 

Please, give me a calendar with some bad ass women firing perfect tens out of their actual guns after having busted ass across grueling cross country terrain instead of strategically placed Canadian flags that cover genitals. And hey, maybe they won’t sell as many calendars that way, but isn’t self respect worth anything these days? 

This is so stupid. It cheapens women it cheapens the fact that they are world class athletes with amazing skill and makes them just objects, bodies to be gazed upon. 

In our women’s body obsessed society, our female achievers should be fighting against this, not pandering to it. 

Grow up girls. Take yourselves seriously as athletes and not nude models and maybe others will as well. 

I was super pumped to see the biathlon. But now I’ll pass.

Can someone please tell me why we don’t castrate men who rape our children???

I just don’t get it. Is it because the idea of taking away someone’s precious penis is just too much to bare for men? Is the idea of injecting, basically female birthcontrol, into a man, so horryfing to other men because it may hurt the sex drive, interfere with manliness, or a desire to live, that we cease to take steps to actually do something effective to get rid of child molesters? 

I think it is pretty clear. If you try and fuck children, you have a problem. If you look at pictures of infants and get a hard on, you have a problem, if you abduct and rape them, you have a big fucking problem. But apparently, you can molest them, over 70 times and go to prison for a few years and be back at it. But please, stick to the conditions of your release and stay away from schools because we banned you from doing that. Right.

Have we not learned anything? Sexual gratification is a pretty big motivator and when your brain and penis are hardwired in a fucked up way that makes you perceive a toddler as sexy, even once, maybe you should lose your right to have any sex drive at all. 

Now personally, I would say, remove the whole penis. Cut the whole thing right off. 

But really, a more “humane” answer already exists. Injections. Like every four months and then….bye bye sex drive, protect the children. 

How can we let someone like Danial Todd Gratton troll our playgrounds? Often, the police don’t want these fuckers back out there. But hey, the guy played nice in prison, not too many seven-year-olds in there to tempt him, and then he voluntarily goes to counselling and so he is not considered high risk. Did we forget he molested several children including one more than 70 times? What about those children’s lives? What about the little ten-year-old who he threatened with death this week? How is she going to adjust? And we don’t know what he did to her but I’m sure it wasn’t pretty. 

But hey, at counselling they told Gratton, let’s work to fight against those urges. Sure, then he goes home and online and looks at all the little children out there being abused and gets hot and horny. And these guys are everywhere. They wont tell you where but trust me, in your neighbourhood, maybe in your building, maybe at your work, maybe coaching your kid’s softball team. But as long as we decide to pretend that these guys can get “better”, nothing will change. 

And maybe if we started castrating all the guys we catch, a few others would actually be deterred. It’s one thing to be shamed and go to prison. It’s another to live your life signing it soprano.

Everyday you read a story about another ten men brought down for abusing children, distributing child porn, looking at these vile pictures of poor children being mutilated and tortured and getting off on it. Actually having orgasms when they see a child crying because their little vagina is being ripped open. Let’s get fucking real. These people are a plague on our society. Targeting our children for fucks sake.  Do they really deserve to be allowed to carry around their weapons? Fuck no. 

Let’s not get tough on crime by keeping these guys in prison for a year longer. Let’s really do something about this. And not a voluntary program. What the hell is that.

For child abusers, bring on the mini-guillotine. Off with their heads!!!!

[And now the worst thing is, I get to see the search terms that show up when trolls accidently come to my blog looking for kiddie porn: sadly, their searches will far outnumber those from people looking for news and commentary.]

Addicted to Publicity

So news and events on which to comment have basically been spewing all over the place for weeks now. So many things to get me going, piss me off, and really make me want to rant and rave…so many that it’s hard to know where to begin.

But as I pondered, and stewed, fretted, and festered, over all the headlines, bylines, and pantylines of weeks past, all that kept coming to mind was David Duchovny.

“Why?” you ask, would this mildy, or maybe mediumly, hot, former x-files star, be on the forefront of my anger when so many other things are wrong with the world? Well, I think it is because Duchovny really represents most of what is in fact wrong. 

First off, I’ll admit, I am not a fan of actors. In fact I really can’t stand most of them. I’m sure there are nice ones/good ones/plain old “I really just love the art” whoevers, but the ones I know and have seen really just want to be the center of attention at all times, no matter what, and they will do anything to get there, stay there, and keep everyone else out of their way and spotlight. And when I see things like the following, it hurts a little more inside:

When Californication first aired on showcase, I trusted I could enjoy some r-rated T.V. I enjoyed season one. Too many gratuitous tits, but all around pretty entertaining and definitely boundaries pushing (female ejaculation face-shot….yup).

But, is it not just a tiity bittie convenient that David Duchovny declares himself a sex addict, in need of treatment, weeks before season two begins airing????

Give me a break. Seriously. The guy is going to go public with a sex addiction. Right…. This has nothing to do with the fact that his character on Californication is a sex addict. Nothing to do with rebranding the uptight scientist x-files Duchovny with the new, sexier, sluttier, racier version. It practically sets up season two. He may be back with his woman, but he’s addicted to sex, so what will happen in the steamy, sex filled episodes to come…..dun  dun dun…..

Tea Leoni, in the meantime, has to skip out on the Toronto Film Festival out of “embarrassment”. I can just picture that convo: “So honey, the pr team for Californication want me to come out as a sex addict and check into rehab. I know this wont look good for us, but hey, the ratings will skyrocket for the show and guarantee a few more seasons. This could be big time. Come on honey……” 

And of course it all works very nicely. Instead of getting two lines in the T.V. section of the paper before season two begins, whole articles, in the tabloids and the mainstream press, feature Duchovny’s startling confessions. What a load of shit. And really, the media allow themselves to be so manipulated it just sucks.

But sadly, while I found Duchovny sexy and alluring in season one, I can’t even watch season two. Now all I see is another actor, willing to make a fool of himself and his family to make a few more bucks. Is all fair in love for publicity?  

But hey, actors do it, signers do it, athletes do it, and now, even our politicians do it.

Ahhhh John McCain. Another actor, breaking out some tabloid fotter, Palin, in order to create buzz and gain publicity. Who cares about serious issues when we can talk about six packs and moose hunting? Who cares about qualifications when you have great hair? Who wants to talk about foreign policy when they can gossip about teen pregnancy? Why fill the papers with debate, analysis and discussion when you can just post rumours, and comparative fashion shots of power suits.

Just like actors, our politicians have become publicity whores, knowingly dishing out all the shit that we love to eat right up. Making one, if not the, most important U.S. election into a publicity, tabloid circus, one in which the packaging and branding have become more important than the actual product.  

But I guess as long as we eat it up, they’ll keep dishing it out. 

Frankly, I just feel like barfing.

Since when did PIMP mean primp

Marie Claire has an article this month entitled “How to Pimp your pad“. It’s apparently a single girl’s guide to decorating her new place. 

Let’s have a little language lesson. 

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

PIMP: a man who solicits clients for a prostitute

Or…TO PIMP: to make use of often dishonorably for one’s own gain or benefit

Now, how does this apply to redecorating, to sprucing, primping, applying paint, buying new furniture, hanging a painting????

Remodeling is not quite the same as sexual exploitation now is it. And I get the whole “let’s take back the language” thing. I think it is of great value to take a term that was originally created to demean or offend and make it part of everyday speech. Language looses a lot of power when it is in the right hands. My gay friend calls her girlfriend a dyke all the time. And I laugh at my friend as I call her a slut for being flirty. The list goes on. But re-associating pimp as a decorative term is just fucked. We are making the word pimp into something cool, trendy and beneficial. 

It pissed me off when a bunch of gangster wannabes started “Pimp my ride” but for a women’s magazine that considers itself quite feminist to use that term, Wow. 

Pimps aren’t cool. Pimp and Ho parties aren’t cool. ‘It’s hard out here for a pimp’ winning an Academy Award: not cool. So let’s maybe think twice before we throw trendy language out there without even thinking about what it signifies. K.

“I feel like my place is a little run down and not too stylish, thank goodness for Marie Claire, I can now go find a vulnerable women, who is most likely poor and drug addicted and I can take advantage of her, convince her that I’ll help her out, send guys who want to fuck her her way and then take half the profit. Oh, you meant the new definition of pimp. Sprinkle with colour and make a place homey. Shame on me for thinking that the term from the 1600s applied here.”

Olympic Objectification

This really pisses me off.

Here we have the best female athletes in the world, competing in highly demanding sports, and still, the cameras and the press must objectify the female athletes and reduce them to body parts. First of all, screw you cameraguy for the Associated Press who thinks it’s perfectly alright to take extreme closeup ass shots, and secondly screw you Globe and Mail for including this sexist piece of shit in your daily photo montage re-cap of the day in Beijing. 

This volleyball player for Brasil has a face. She probably has a pretty bad ass spike and a super fabulous serve, but instead thanks to the bullshit that is the “rule” that women volleyball payers must wear bikinis, and the assholes who think it’s fine to make world class athletes into sexy models upon which to gaze and lust after, she is just a tight little ass. 

Show some respect to these women athletes. Sex is everywhere…..everywhere. Women’s bodies and body parts are everywhere. Why can’t we look to these athletes at the olympics as models of strength, perseverance, stamina and determination and not just, with one quick snap of the zoom lens, sportporn.

Americans happier without kids

Have a gander at the latest issue of Newsweek and you’ll come across an article exploring research from several sources revealing that most Americans describe themselves as happier when they are childless. Americans with children, feel that their children make them more unhappy. 

Contrary to popular belief, parents are not declaring their undying happiness derived from their bundles of joy. They feel a greater sense of purpose, but not happiness. How tragic. This is really sad. But I truly beleive it is a product of the modern North American model or living and parenting.

Basically, tell me how a family of four, in our culture is supposed to live. Mom and dad get up, get the kids ready, shuffle them to school, go to their jobs, work all day, run errands at lunch, pick the kids up, get dinner, cook dinner, clean, help kids with homework, take kids to play dates, sport practice, bla bla bla, watch TV and pass out in bed. This is a horrendous way to live everyday.

Now not all families live this way, and some days, of course, are going to unfold like this but I really think that life is very different in Europe for families and for three main reasons:

1) VACATION: Europeans have 5-6 weeks vacation. In addition to this, many have flexi time, they have time off for doctors appointments, they have schedules that allow them to wait at home for the repairperson to fix the fridge. How do families live in America with only two weeks vacation? Ten days to spend outside of work a year? This is insane. Families don’t have anytime to devote to each other. And then, when you go home, all you have to face are chores and responsibilities and never a good time. Most of the Euro families I know take off for a full month every year. They go to the beach, they go camping, they go see relatives. The whole family, together. Now trust me, this quality time keeps families closer, teens out of trouble, couples having sex. And I can’t understand why North Americans only receive two weeks vacation. Show me people working on a Friday afternoon. Just show them to me. Instead, many Europeans actually work all week long so that they can get everything done for their vacations. 

2) SUBURBIA, no offense to the many of you who live in American suburbia, but when life revolves around driving to big boxes, you can’t possibly feel very happy. Now big boxes exist in Europe, but the majority of people live in centres so that they can walk, bike or take a train everywhere they go. Walk to the local butcher, grab a bouquet of flowers from the street vendor, pick up a fresh pie and a baguette at the baker. This is so much more desirable to fighting the masses at Costco so that you can fill the freezer with pre-made dinners no? If I had to spend two-three of my free hours everyday in traffic or line-ups that smell like ketchup, I would be pretty miserable as well. It’s pretty fantastic when you can really live off everything in your own community. 

3) CRAZY PARENTING: child-centred parenting is just that. And when you make your whole life revolve solely around your child, something is going to give and your own happiness is likely. Parents forget they need to enjoy their lives and wether it is doing family activities that everyone can enjoy or having nights off for dates and for fun and relaxation: it’s necessary.

How insane is it that most parents describe their children as a source of unhappiness? One survey found that parents were happier grocery shopping or sleeping than they were spending time with their kids. Ouch. 

Doesn’t this raise some red flags that things need to change. No one wants a life that revolves around chores or 100% sacrifice to keep up with play dates. So why are parents making themselves so unhappy? It’s time to look at how they are living their lives and what are some of the underlying problems. Because while I am sure parenting is not always easy and can take a lot of time and stress, shouldn’t it be enjoyable to have children? Seriously. 

Why women aren’t having kids

    V.    

A recent article/book in the New York Times takes a look at the declining populations in Europe. 

It pretty much goes on to say that embracing the realities of a declining population is inevitable but that the best models for encouraging more children, are those that embrace the equality of women. The Scandanavian countries have the highest birthrates in Europe and also the most family inclusive policies that encourage work/life balance and a women’s role in the workforce, even after she has had children. 

Of course the modern world makes it less appealing for women to have 14 babies. And once an educated woman has been in the work force and living a very independent life, why would she want to be at home only caring for the household and the children? Now some women may want this and most women don’t even have the option but I believe that most of us would like to balance both worlds. And that balance can be achieved through government support for initiatives that make this balance possible and of course the involvement of men as equal partners in the whole endeavor. 

The author goes on to say that the U.S. population is at a high not seen since the 1960s. He says it’s due to the flexibility of the American working environment. I think what he was saying is: “There’s lots of work in the States so it’s easy to get a job even after taking a few years off to be a stay-at-home mom.”

My question is this: where is the population increase in the States? Let me save you the trouble…It’s not in the blue areas. So you can’t say that religion and the rise of fundamentalist Christians are not having a HUGE impact on this population increase.  Just like in most Muslim countries, populations are growing because it is a woman’s duty to bear fruit. Telling people they can’t use birthcontrol and have to produce god’s will is a good population strategy. And the U.S. is definitely voicing those opinions loud and clear.

[In fact, sometimes I think producing a little liberal, feminist army of children to fight against the growing conservative religious front is the best argument I have ever heard for reproduction]

Anyway….my vote is for making a more equal world for men and women so that they can work together, clean together, rear and raise children together and be happy in both roles and bask in the glory of a nice balance. 

Three Cheers for Morgentaler and his Order of Canada….

Sometimes I am just so proud to be a Canadian!!!!! Thank goodness, amidst all the religious and conservative babble, good things can still happen for good people in our country. 

This award represents the progressive, equal, free, independent from religion, and truly marvelous country that I LOVE being a part of.

If you don’t like abortions, don’t have one. For the rest of our female population, if someone requires an abortion, thanks to humans like Morgentaler, they don’t have to use a coat hanger.

Nuff said…

To C or not to C-Section

There really has been a flood of articles about C-Sections since the OBGYN society of Canada decided that they needed to put out a big press release/warning. Interestingly, the press treat the rise in c-sections like every Canadian getting one is a Posh Beckham wannabe trying to schedule her birth after her morning meeting and before her night out on the town. 

Truth is, if we want to decrease c-sections, we should promote nutrition, since obesity seems to be the leading cause. And of course, women are having babies later in life. Well, if they require a c-section, then so be it. It’s reality. Don’t discourage that or Canada will cease to even exist. We can’t afford an even lower birthrate. 

I find it very strange that all of a sudden, there is all this talk of the increased risks to the mother and baby. Funny, since the only OBGYN I know, just gave birth to her first baby via scheduled c-section in Toronto and she told me, and I quote, “I don’t know why any woman would ever have a vaginal birth. It’s way easier to have a c-section, and you have way less stretching and pain. It’s the only thing I would do.” Hmmmmmm…..

Now I was all, “go c sections” for a long time, till I had a conversation with a mom, whose feminism I respected, and she mentioned the fact that really women’s bodies know what to do when it comes to birthing. Their kindof wired for that shiz and they should not be challenged by modern technology.

Point taken….

My husband was bottle fed because in the late 70s they thought that formula was better than breast milk. Ummm…Not quite. (But to all the breast feeding nazis, he hasn’t yet died from ashma, low IQ, allergies, or all those other doomsday formula disorders…..).

But really, a step in a direction to make women more at peace with their bodies is always a good one. But how about, instead of claiming all these horrific risks that women are taking with their health and their babies, let’s put out some warm fuzzy information about childbirth.

How about promoting vaginal births, providing more education around childbirth, encouraging and respecting midwives and doulas for the wickedness that is them. In Holland, childbirth is not even considered a medical procedure and almost all Dutch women give birth at home. Now, I would pass on that one, who wants to clean up that mess? But I think it demonstrates the fact that society has a lot of influence on what flies. And we tend to be creatures of the latest fashions.

A good friend of mine was reading this hippie book from the 70s when she got pregnant. She didn’t want to read page after page of mind numbing ‘information’, instead, she wanted to read about how many women have very intense albeit wonderful birthing experiences. Complete with retro pictures, from back when women’s bushes were so gigantic it’s hard to imagine how they got pregnant through all that jungle, the book had some really good advice. The jist:

Women have been having babies for like….forever. And women in their forties, where popping out number 10 and 11 at one point and so we really need to have some faith in what these bodies of ours can do. And maybe being put down by a most likely male doctor, to have the baby extracted is not so necessary. But hey, if that’s your thing, do it sister, but maybe have a gander at the smiling 70s broads before hand, may help you feel some positive juice. Cause hey, if you have seen a birth on TV in fiction land, you of course think it’s the most horrifying thing possible but some women actually get off on the pain. (Yes the book actually goes into this and even provides a picture, but why not imagine that outcome instead of the alternative???). 

So how about it? Less “WOMEN: YOU ARE RISKING YOUR HEALTH AND ENDANGERING YOUR UNBORN BABIES…!!!!!!!” And more “Go babies, go babies, go vaginal, let me hear ya, you can do it, you’re wicked, go babies, out the birth canal, you go girl.”

Just a thought…..

Shitty people

So two women filed a human rights complaint against a comedian in Vancouver. WTF? Isn’t part of a comedians job to offend everyone or at least offend some people. Come on. And apparently, the women went in to the show, sat in the front (ummmm…..that’s where you get picked on ladies) and then started heckling the guy (uhhhh, sorry but if you heckle, you’re fair game). 

The women, both lesbians, are claiming that he humiliated them and discriminated against them for their sexual orientation. 

I like, accused homophobe Guy Earle’s response:”I don’t care if they’re lesbians, heterosexuals, homosexuals or giraffes.”

What a big waste of the Human rights tribunal’s time. It’s so ridiculous. Comedians are there to make fun or everything and everyone and if you don’t like the jokes, leave. 

But I’m sure, thank to these women with a grudge, Guy Earle will sell many more tickets to his shows. Ahhh Irony…

Couples seeking cheap wombs for rent in India

“Are babies commodities to be planted and harvested?”  A good question asked by Joseph Gathia in his article about surrogacy in India. 

Sick, sick, sick. Yet again, we bust in to countries with a lot of poor people just trying to get by, and we exploit them. This time, renting women’s bodies so that they can pop out our babies on the cheap.

Is there no end to our selfishness? I think Surrogacy, maybe by a friend or family member in order to help a loved one who can’t conceive is understandable, but hiring a stranger to grow and birth your child for you, for money?????? I just can’t wrap my head around that one. And then going out of country to save some bucks because there are lots of poor people, who don’t abuse drugs and alcohol over there…..just boggles the brain. 

Global culture indeed. Where’s our moral culture to go along with it? 

Stay-at-home dads on the rise

So more dads are taking pat leave than ever before. This is great news. Yay for incentives that offer both men and women time off from work to care for the kids. It really shouldn’t be just up to the women to stay home and this is a refreshing trend.

(By the way…there are wayyyyyy more dads taking pat leave in Quebec because Quebec is the only province that allows pat leave on its own. While these family incentives are very costly, if you want close, happy families and a sustainable, growing population. I think it might just be worth it.)

Interestingly, the Globe article mentions some research that shows that kids with a close bond with their fathers from an early age tend to have all sorts of behavioral benefits. I can totally see it. I think kids get a lot of different things from mom and from dad and it’s great to see families working as a team. I know a lot of women who make more money than their partners and sometimes dad staying home makes more sense. A lot of guys however feel that there is a major stigma attached to being a stay-at-home dad. That’s so sad.

Just as women having great careers is no biggie these days, we also need to work on breaking down the boundaries for dads to stay home. While I know a lot of women making more money than their partners, I also know a lot of guys who would make way better primary care givers for their kids than their wives/girlfriends.

I truly think that morphing these traditionally gendered roles and duties in terms of parenting and working is a major MAJOR step towards equality for men and women and will ultimately lead to happier family lives for all.

Cause every little girl wants to grow up to be a stripper…..

A very interesting report put out by the Quebec status of women, (which still receives funding because apparently women are still considered equal in Quebec) points out a huge problem with marketing sex to prepubescent girls. The report makes several recommendations on how to improve the equality of women by helping young girls to understand and resist the marketing machines that are turning them into pint size sex objects.

A great article in the Gazette by Brett Bundale sums up the problem nicely in the intro:

Walking down some stretches of Ste. Catherine St., you might have trouble telling a strip club and a toy store apart.
Dolls come dressed with black leather miniskirts, fishnet stockings, thigh-high boots and red feather boas.
The ads for Club Super Sexe portray women as girls, with pigtails, schoolgirl skirts and ruffles.

Bundale goes on to discuss:

Padded bras and thongs advertised to 7-year-olds.

The fact that 65% of girls aged 12-17 have experienced mental or physical sexual violence

And that 20% of girls who had sex before 16 thought that they had to.

Hmmmmm…..I wonder where they, and the young guys having sex with them, got all these messages about sex.

Besides the La Senza girls and the Brat dolls, teens see porn. They see sex on TV, in the movies at their friends but mostly on the internet. Sadly, we all know what the internet looks like. And trust me, your 12-year-old did not click the “I’m under 18 button.” What a joke.

And you may supervise your kids on computers at home, but when they are at Jimmy’s……or Cara’s……..exactly…..you had an inkling.

While we as teens, may have stumbled across dad’s Playboy, kids these days, get face shots, double penetrations and maybe an occasional round with a donkey. It’s a fact of life. It’s not a pretty fact that our internet is completely dominated by porn. When my liberal feminist blog brings people to my articles because they did a search for “kiddie vagina” or “teen face shots” I am extremely discouraged with our world. But then I think, maybe they’ll read about what a young student escort is really thinking when she has sex with them and they wont be able to get it up next time and maybe stay home and read a good book instead. (Yes, I’m an optimist) A digressing one…

The report’s conclusion states that the main concern is that young girls feel increasingly like objects. This is a horrifying by-product of our current cultural climate.

I remember feeling very empowered as a 14-year-old listening to the Sunday Night Sex Show with Sue, reading Sassy magazine, listening to Liz Phair.

Today, these girls have Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and Jaime Lynn Spears as role models. Be stupid, look pretty and you’ll bag a rock star or a hockey player. (And totally have the coolest babies with them.)

I remember so clearly the day I realized that most likely, in tight jeans, as I walked away guys would check out my ass. I was 27. Growing up, it never even crossed my mind that as I schooled a guy at pool, because I used to be a bit of a teen shark, he may have been looking for cleavage as I leaned over the table. And maybe, thanks to my mom and her dress code for my early years, I didn’t feel like a sex object until I was able to understand what that meant and deal with it accordingly. (O.K. maybe I clued in a bit late, but trust me, it wasn’t a bad thing.)

Today, young girls become sex objects at such a young age. They don’t get a chance to play on the ball field with the guys without worrying that since it’s chilly out their nipples may be showing and the second baseman will for sure notice so they might as well miss that fly ball. Or maybe they are wearing extra short shorts so that the centre fielder misses his own fly balls. Same diff…

What we have is a big cultural void for our young girls. They don’t have Riott Girl and 80s career movies. They don’t have Liz Phair singing about one-night-stands and Ani Difranco about periods. They get Surf School instead of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. They look up to Venessa Hudgens, not for the brutalness that is High School Musical, but because they  know that in real life, the actress landed a sweet gig, posted nude pics, and is actually dating Zach Efron and can make out anytime when Disney is not in charge.

The markets feel that selling sex to teens is worth while. Clearly it’s worth while because it works. These little girls are eating it up and nothing is standing in the way. Or at least competing.

So the Quebec report makes some recommendations. Among them:

- Discuss sexuality and the media in the ethics and religious culture course that is to begin in public schools this fall.
- Launch a media awAreness campaign to promote equality.
- give youths and parents better access to information about sexuality.

Now besides the fact that these recommendations are totally mundane and most likely useless, they are important in that they will get people who can have some influence some information and hopefully a kick in the ass to take action.

But I have a few recommendations of my own:

• Teach your girls that they are not different from boys in that they will be curious about sex, have sexual feelings and want to explore their sexuality. Then talk to them about doing things and behaving in ways that make them feel good about themselves and not bad.
• Tell your girls, as my mom told me: “You have your whole life to dress like a tart, preserve being a kid, it’s the best life has to offer, it will go quickly, don’t rush it.”
• ENROLL YOUR GIRLS IN SPORTS!!!!!! And not ballet, horse back riding and yoga. Sports. Like soccer, football, hockey. Trust me, when the other girls make fun of Molly for wearing eyeliner to practice, she will think twice about how cool it is. And unlike dancing, girls bring the skills they learn playing these sports with them everywhere in life. Whether it’s a 21st birthday party at a bowling alley, a pick up game of football at the company barbecue or a game a pool at the singles bar, women with skills, agility and physical acumen kick ass. (not to knock dancing etc. but supplements of sports are well worth while.)
• Talk to your boys. It is not cool to have conquests. It is not cool to brag about what you’ve done. The boys who don’t need to beg for it or tell everyone about it are always the ones that all the girls swoon over. If he really likes you, and you like him, he’ll wait. If not, he’ll leave right after. Let’s get real here.
• Ask your girls how they feel about their bodies, about boys. Ask them if they are being pressured, harassed, or our curious about making out. Trust me, if you never ask, she will never tell you. Girls are scared to talk about these things. They are scared to talk about sexual violence. They feel guilty and don’t want you to know. But often, they really want to tell you….if you ask.
• And: don’t treat your girls like little wall flowers who only do what boys want and have no hormonal desires themselves. Childhood innocence is pretty much a bust. Preserve it for as long as it will last, but once it’s over, it’s really over, so get real. She can google it and trust me, you don’t want her to follow the advice on hotteensexforu.com.

Ban lipstic to prevent rape??

A city in Malaysia has banned bright lipstick and loud high-heeled shoes in an effort to prevent rape.

An increase in conservative interpretations of Islam is occurring in the formerly progressive Malasia and now… a fresh batch of bannings.

This really makes me angry.

If you want to decrease rape, a crime perpetrated by men, why not target the men? Aren’t they the ones committing the crime? Instead lipstick becomes a crime?

Now I know some Muslim women support wearing extremely conservative dress and covering themselves, to different degrees of totality, as a node to tradition and respect. Some say it is a nice way to avoid catcalls and being harassed. But I have to say that when your culture forces you to dress a certain way in order to prevent men from getting all lusty after you, there is a problem. If men are harassing women, if they are going so far as to rape them, this is a male problem. Forcing women to be completely devoid of anything considered unique, colourful, sexy or beautiful is ridiculous.

I would suggest that the same ideology that promotes controlling women through banning articles of clothing, is completely responsible for men feeling that they can control a women physically in an act of sexual violence.

And in addition, our North American culture is in fact not as far removed from these ideas as you would think. A woman I met while volunteering at a rape relief centre, who had been raped, told me that people asked her all the time, what she was wearing when it happened. That is insane. But even an examination of the treatment of rape victims in court reveals that we like to parade sexual relationships as well as clothing and lifestyle choices as justifications for rape.

But trust me, a man who would never rape a woman, would not rape her because she is wearing a mini skirt, because she is drunk, because she said yes first but then changed her mind or because she already slept with the entire football team that night. And that is the point. When men stand against sexual violence and respect a women’s right to say no – no matter what, we are succeeding in preventing rape. When we tell our teenager girls not to drink or wear a strapless top because they might get raped, we are sending the wrong message: that it is a women’s fault that she is raped. And really, that’s not far off from banning bright lipstick, is it?

A little VACAY

 

So I am heading to Amsterdam for a little vacay and I hope you will forgive my absence.

Please come back next week.

I promise I will be WELL rested and full of indignation.

Have a great Week!!!!

Killer goes to jail this time

I just wanted to say, I am very happy that psycho killer Thomas Svekla is going to prison, most likely forever. And the coverage of this horrible murder and the sad loss of life of Theresa Innis was so much better than that of Stephine Beck. 

Justice Sterling Sanderman should teach Judge Steven Glithero a few things.

Women’s Magazines: The Contemporary Guide to Feminine Subjectivity

It all begins at birth, when a new life emerges and the doctor cries “It’s a Girl!”. The anatomy distinction is the easy part, but what does it truly mean to be a female, born into this world where gender’s association to identity is constantly being negotiated? There was a time when a women’s role was much more defined and her identity was strictly formulated by her environment which taught her most, if not all, that she needed to know in order to assume her cultural role, mainly as wife and mother. Today, in a society of cities where women have taken on a diversity of roles in an environment of opportunity and freedom, identities are much less defined and constructed than before. But what does this mean for a young woman, who is seeking for definition in an environment that no longer provides her with easy, unavoidable access to one?
When I was young, I learned much from my environment about how I should behave, how I should dress, how I should regard my sexuality; but then I learned from the media about what women could act like, look like and be like. Women’s magazines were my primary source. I envied how beautiful and stylish the women looked. I loved to read about the steamy romances and relationship problems. I read all the adds that told me their products could make me beautiful too, and I did all the quizes to see if I was too selfish, or too shy. But most of all, I read all about sex. As young teenagers, my friends and I would hide with a Cosmopolitan or Glamour magazine, a little too old in content for us, and read about how to please your boyfriend, or get lipstick that wouldn’t come off while kissing, or how to know if your man was cheating, and we giggled with excitement about what was to come for us. The magazines showed us the glamourous, sexy women and we wanted to be like them and look like them; have all those fun experiences. Here was a guide to an identity, but not one as a daughter, or a Catholic, or a girl, but one of a girlfriend, a business associate and most of all, a beautiful, sexy woman. So upon receiving a project to write about a method of communication in the light of culture, drawing on my own experiences, I could see no other medium that communicates popular culture and gender definition, of course in relation to the dominant discourses, better than the contemporary women’s magazine.
I would like to explore how, in an increasingly large and disassociated society, where a woman’s identity is less inwardly defined, women’s magazines have managed to become a primary source in the effort to construct a female identity which conforms to the ideals of contemporary culture, and is so determined by consumerism and changing gender roles. Since it has recently been Glamour magazines 60th anniversary, and the magazine is one of the leading magazines in North America, I would like to draw on it for examples of how a woman’s magazine attempts to construct identity in regard to personality, appearance and sexuality. I would also like to discuss the advantages and disadvantages to such a medium and its methods in regard to the construction of a female identity driven by both popular feminism and consumerism.
Chris Weedon, author of Language and Subjectivity, describes that there is a
…common-sense assumption that there is a natural way for girls, boys, women and men to be. This gives rise to a battle to fix particular versions of femininity and masculinity as natural….a struggle to fix meaning temporarily on behalf of particular power relations and social interests. (98 )

Funky Find Friday: Freitag Bags

Now I know you may have already heard of these, but in case you haven’t, check them out.

Freitag bags are awesome. Great for girls and boys. Fabulous for computers or just carrying stuff around, and….they use all recycled material. You can even design your own bag and pick the piece of material you want.

Amazing.

From their webste:

FREITAG products are made from original recycled materials – used truck tarps, used car seat belts, used air bags and used bicycle inner tubes. Because the materials are tough, the products are too. Because we’re Swiss, our quality standards are too. And because it is made from an original piece of tarp, every single FREITAG product has its own, individual design.

The opt out revolution is absolute BULLSHIT.

When I first heard about Lisa Belkin’s Opt Out Revolution article in the New York Times, I was angry. Angry at my fellow professional women- all fired up and frustrated that women were leaving professional jobs to stay home. How can we change the world if we just stay home? This made me mad.

But then, I read Lisa Belkin’s article and I had a hard time feeling that the world REVOLUTION was justified here. Belkin writes a poorly researched, anecdotal article about how some of her friends who just had babies are happy to be stay at home moms. I had a few concerns about her professional-womens-doomsday prophecy:

a) Belkin was writing about a very small group of acquaintances and assuming that they represented a revolution for the whole world. It would be like me noticing that a few of my friends stopped drinking coffee and then write an article called: “The Anti-Caffeine Revolution” only to have it picked up and written about by everyone. For 5 years. It’s insane.

b) The women that Belkin was writing about were almost all new moms. Sure, they were pumped to be out of the office, enjoying being moms. But in two, three, or even six years, when the kids are older or back in school, do these professional women really plan on never returning to work? I highly doubt it.

c) This article has nothing to do with a revolution. It only applies to women who have the financial means to stay at home. And really, out of these women, how many have left the work force forever? Show me the numbers. The numbers Belkin does reveal only highlight the fact that women are not in top CEO-like positions. Well, this is not a revolution. And whether because of roadblocks to women in general, or because women with families do decide not to strive for 80 hour work weeks, this does not mean women are out of the work force. Belkin also refers to women working part time, which I thought was work. And when you have a two year old, is this opting out of the workforce because you scale back on hours for a few years?

and d) Some professional women have always, and will always, quit their jobs when they have children to stay home and be the care givers for those children. This used to happen all the time when it wasn’t really an option to keep working and drop the tots at daycare. Or when dad wouldn’t scale his hours back to help out, or when women weren’t bringing in three figure salaries. Now a days, it’s possible. But to call this a REVOLUTION. I mean seriously. The French Revolution resulted in the upheaval of the people, murder of the monarchs and a complete restructuring of the political system. The American Revolution gave the U.S. it’s independence from Britain. And even Dance Dance Revolution can brag about being in dozens of countries with more than 100 versions and over a thousand songs.

Opt out revolution my ass.

And then….today, a press release from the American Sociological Association shows us some numbers and research that goes beyond: “Hey Sally, what up? How’s the ole book club? Ya, you workin right now? No. Great, how about Kathy? No, K. I’m putting together this thingy for the New York Times and was just curious. Toodles.”:

Opting out revolution a myth: Study shows steep employment gains for women, mothers.

Wow. No Shit. Women with children are actually working more then ever before. Sociologist Christine Percheski has some great, real information for us:

Percheski’s research shows that the number of women with young children who work full-time year-round has increased steadily, growing from a rate of 5.6 percent of women born 1926 to 1935 (referred to as the “Baby Boom Parents” by Percheski), to 38.1 percent of women from Generation X (born 1966 to 1975). More professional Generation X mothers of young children were working full-time year-round than their counterparts in any previous generation.

Percheski even found that many professional women were working more than 50 hours a week.

She concludes:

“Contrary to an opt-out revolution, professional women—including mothers of young children—are working more than ever,” said Percheski. “Despite this increase in women’s employment, we can not assume that combining professional work and family life is easy for most women. Indeed, many working women successfully combine these roles by making great personal sacrifices, including curtailing their sleep, civic involvement or leisure time.”

Amazing what you can find out when you do your research before making bold, highly volatile, not to mention false stetments:

Percheski used cross-sectional data from the U.S. Census and the American Community Survey to examine trends by 10-year birth cohorts of college-educated professional and managerial women in the United States from 1960 to 2005. She analyzed labor force participation; full-time, year-round employment; and work hours exceeding 50 hours per week. She is a doctoral candidate in the Department of Sociology and the Office of Population Research at Princeton University.

But of course, you wont read about Percheski’s study in the New York Times or elsewhere. The truth is just far less sexy and gets way fewer letters to the editor.

But for women like me, this research gives me some good amo when I hear people talking about how chicks nowadays just want to stay home and bake cookies instead of say….running for president.

Pass it on…..

Man charged cause son got a bad sunburn???

I think this is insane.

Sure, the dad fucked up. He shouldn’t have left the kid out in the sun for an hour and a half. But how many of us have forgotten to put sun screen on? And I know, I know, he’s just a child and parents must protect, protect, protect. But give the guy a break. Now, his picture is everywhere as the worst dad of the summer (so far). He is in prison and being charged with FIRST degree neglect.

Interestingly, the kids mother, went to the police before she went to the hospital.

I’m sure the hospital sees this all the time. Along with other injuries that accidentally befall toddlers. If the kid had a broken arm from riding a bike that was too big for him, would the dad be charged? If he chocked on a candy bar, that he shouldn’t be eating at this age, would his dad be charged? If dad was playing airplane and dropped the boy accidentily, would he be charged?

It just opens this whole bullshit can of worms. When should someone be charged with neglect and when is it a mistake. An accident. We all make them and I’m sure accidents that hurt our children are the worst of all. Parents have forgotten their children in cars and the kids have died and they didn’t even face first degree neglect charges.

And I’m wondering what kind of a bone the mother had to pick. If she wanted to guarantee that dad wouldn’t get to see his son much anymore, she succeeded.

This story should definitely serve as a reminder to use sun screen. I’ve been avoiding it cause I want a tan, man. But really, it should also make us pissed that the state can interfere at will. Based on nothing but their “outrage at how big the blisters are.” Parents should be able to make a mistake here and there, even a bad one, without becoming a fuck-up poster parent with a video attachment of a poor kid who may hurt pretty badly for the next weeks or so.

At least the kid wont suffer from vitamin d deficiency.

Take the Edge off Thursday

Yummmmmm…….. I would to say that nothing reminds me more of summer than orange creamsicles. My mom was one of those moms who never ever had sugar or treats or unhealthy snacks in the house. The only provision to this rule, was Popsicles in the summer. And creamsicles just remind me of how long two months lasts when you are a kid. When every day is a play day and anything can happen.

I found this grown up version of the creamsicle on the foodnetwork site. Enjoy and think back to those crazy, lazy days of summer from when you were six.

ORANGE CREAMEZCAL

-In an ice cream glass, place four mini scoops of Vanilla ice cream.

-Add 1 ounce Mezcal (sweeter, softer tequila)

-Top it off with 6 ounces of cold orange soda.

Works best if the glass is pre-chilled in the freezer.

Consumer awareness, informed purchasing and a better world in Spain

Just had to point out one of 100 million things that I love about Spain. But this particular thing, is easily replicated all over the world.

While purchasing some groceries, I was confronted by several choices. My groceries actually had a bunch of information for me, letting me know how those products were brought to me or how the animals were treated.

So when I was choosing between a dozen different kinds of eggs, it was really a no brainer to spend the extra 20 cents to buy Free Range eggs. How awesome is that? On the packages, they let you know if the chickens were raised in factories or free range on a farm. I think most people wouldn’t mind paying extra to know that the chickens have a better life.

Then, I came across this cheese. Basically, the package informed me that the cheese was produced entirely by wind power. It’s so great to have information when making purchases. And it’s so easy to do. Why can’t we get this information in Canada? I know they have started to put some Canadian flags on food made in Canada, but wouldn’t it be nice to know exactly which foods are farmed by our farmers, have taken on environmental initiatives or created more animal friendly environments?

It must be the way of the future. And we can force change by our purchasing decisions. Love it.

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

…it’s harder to be friends than lovers
And you shouldn’t try to mix the two
Cause if you do it and you’re still unhappy
Then you know that the problem is you.

– Liz Phair, Divorce Song

Ten Fashions from the 80s you know you miss deep down

1) Leg warmers      

2) Suspenders      

3) Neon       

4) Mullets              

5) Shoulder pads  

6) MC Hammer pants  

7) Huge crazy mismatched earrings    

8 ) Acid Wash Jeans    

9) Mustaches        

10) Big Bangs      

 

All over the world, people are staying single and childless in record numbers.

Recently, an Iranian state-owned company tells employees to get married or get fired. The company believes that married men are better behaved and so everyone better be married by September or they will lose their jobs. This comes as a result of record breaking numbers of single 20-somethings in the country.

In Iran, like pretty much everywhere in the world, more and more people are choosing not to get married. Kindof like how they are choosing not to have kids or to have only one and pushing it: two.

When will politicians realize that until they make domestic life better for women and men, and until they make it possible for women to have lives outside of domestic life, women will not want husbands and children to feed and clothe and take care of just cause it is supposed to be their biological predisposition.

As women are gaining power, as in money from jobs, all over the world, the marriage rate is decreasing. India has a huge workforce of women who are choosing to stay single. They can now provide for their extended families by answering your AirCanada questions over the phone. Who needs an arranged marriage and a butt load more chores when you can work your English and turn it into a nice new handbag. (And not to say our economic imperialism and outsourcing are good, but new economic opportunities are changing many women’s lives for the better).

We have seen that in the Scandinavian countries, and even in the province of Quebec, when you create more daycare spots and make it easier for MEN and WOMEN to work and have children, couples choose to have more children. It’s not fucking rocket science.

Most women either can’t afford to stay home and not work, or they really don’t want to just stay home and not work at all. And so, how about, instead of threatening their jobs, like in Iran, paying them thousands of dollars, like in Russia, or making them marry fundamentalist Christians who force them to stay home and pump out 14 home-schooled children, like in the red states, we concentrate on family policies that make life better for a couple who want to balance work and family, together, with the help from the state for daycare and appropriate vacation time, mat and pat leave, health care, etc.

Seriously, until the men in power figure this out, their countries populations will continue to decline. The way it worked in the 50s will never ever return. So, let’s bring dad into the family picture and let’s bring mom into the workforce picture and start making some real changes in policy, without threats, payoffs or the banning of birthcontrol.

John McCain is a sleazy slut

The Daily Mail has a very interesting article about John McCain and his first wife. Check out: The wife U.S. Republican John McCain callously left behind.

Just seems so typical of republicans and their “family values.” It’s such bullshit. They all want women to stay home and pop out their babies but then when they get older, these guys upgrade for a much younger version of their wives. A version whose fertility curves guarantee more little republicans. 

Any guy who dumps his injured wife for a chick 18 YEARS younger just sucks ass. 

People wonder why it is that women should be independent and work, well this is a HUGE reason why. No matter how great and devoted and family oriented some guy seems, he can leave you with nothing. And a lot of them do it. Just look around and see how many of these grey hairs have second wives the age of their daughters. Disgusting.

What a loser. 

I wonder how much he is paying his x-wife to support him in the press? 

I hope this story gets more play. I am so sick of the whole war hero thing. I much prefer this hypocrite, cradle robber, gold digger, philanderer, who ditched his injured wife because she was way less hot, story line. Maybe it will convince the women married to republicans, who are renowned for almost always voting republican along side their husbands, to think twice.

Here’s hoping.